


"I'm so lonely..."

by MorganCapri



Category: There is no fandom - Fandom
Genre: :(, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, mentions of self harm, self-deprication, tics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29288685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganCapri/pseuds/MorganCapri
Summary: Crown is awake at night, Being chained up from every corner of the room isn't helping anything at all. When will these thoughts end..? When will he end?
Kudos: 1





	"I'm so lonely..."

Crown lay on his bed, bored, it was quiet and he hated it. It didn't take much time before some rather unpleasant thoughts came rushing in, He was sick of it, sick of these thoughts, the ones that made him want to stop existing, the ones that made him hate himself, He began to tear up as the thoughts attacked him.  
"I should just die, everyone hates you anyway"  
And thoughts alike invaded his mind, the darkness consuming him as if he was a tiny bird in the paws of a hungry and desperate wolf, "I hate you, I hate you so much, your friends hate you too, Come on... You know it's the truth, so why hide from it? It's not like you have any meaning anyway. You're worthless, your art isn't even good, you're so selfish and ignorant, just die already!"  
They were horrible, so mean... Why were they so mean? And why did they hurt so much..?  
"You'll never find anyone who loves you, might as well start pushing people away, to avoid the pain of the truth of them despising you from hurting too bad."

They hurt so much, Crown hadn't even realised he had started crying, tears flowing down the sides of his cheeks, "God, you're so disgusting, crying? So ugly, you're ugly, a monster, worthless, worthless, WORTHLESS. Know your place in this world, Trash."  
He moved onto laying no his side, his wings covering him like a blanket, they were warm, almost enough to feel like they were cradling him, but despite the comfort, the thoughts continued.  
"Trash, just cut yourself again, heck, maybe even kill yourself, no one will care anyway."  
The words stung, cold and ruthless, They showed no pity, no mercy.  
"You're such a bad person, your friends stick around because they pity you, you're too annoying for them to actually enjoy the time you spend together. You're so nosy, I hate you, Everyone hates you, go kill yourself already."

Crown started to cry a bit louder, curled into a ball, wrapped tightly in his wings his soft feathery wings, as black as the night sky, The gold rims of the feathers and the top of the wings right above the mass of messy quills, a beautiful sight, especially when opened, he loved his wings, he liked pretty things, but the next thought made him break.  
"Look at them, your wings. How ugly, Black and gold? They look monstrous."  
He broke down, he started to full on sob into his wings and knees, we wanted the thoughts to stop, anything other than these stupid thoughts... Anything...

It felt like hours, but in reality it was only 15 minutes, He wanted to die, to cut his throat, lay on the floor and bleed out, to hang himself or slit his wrists, to escape and jump off a roof, just to die, even starve, but he was still in his room, sobbing, an ugly sound, an unpleasant feeling of tears falling down, he hated crying, but he couldn't stop.  
He was so, so lonely, all he wanted was someone to love him, to say "I love you" in person and actually mean it, not just because they have to or feel they need to, but because they genuinely mean it. But no, he was alone, so lonely, so, so lonely, he wanted someone to love, to trust, to cuddle and cradle them or even be the one being cradled, how he longed for the touch of someone who cares about him, a simple kiss on the forehead would do it, he'd be fine with that, but no, he was still alone, a worthless, pathetic monster, that no one could ever love. Ever.

He was still crying, he was tired but he couldn't sleep, he was so anxious and sad, his tics had started to act up again, when they were bad they'd lead him to bark or whine, that was what was happening. He gets these tic attacks when he's stressed, which he very obviously was, the crying, the barks, the whines, the sound of the chains from the movement, it was getting hard to even cry, please... Anyone... Please...

Crown was sitting in a ball, everything hurt, he was exhausted, until... The door began to open, Crown tried to look at who it was, but found it hard through the blur of movement and tears.  
"Crown! Hey! Are you okay?!"  
It was his best friend, Mylo, they came to see if he was okay..? But why?  
Mylo ran up to Crown on his bed and moved away his wings, Crown looked down in shame of someone, his best friend of all people, to find him in this state, stressed, crying and having a tic attack nearly a panic attack. "Shhh… Shhhh, it's okay... It's going to be alright... Come here..." Mylo hugged Crown in a tight embrace, never seeming to let him go, they held him in their arms, Crown hugged them back as much as he could.

After a while, Crown and his tics calmed down Mylo began questioning him whilst cradling him in their arms, "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" Crown answered as best as he could, his tics interrupting him as he spoke  
"I-I-I- My brain s-started- *whine* Sta- *whine whine* Starte-d to se-elf dep-deprecate, I-I- I started to cr-ry and *whine* and *whine* and I started to- tic and- I- the thou- *whine* thoughts- they- *whine*"  
"Shhhh… It's okay, It's okay..." Mylo cradled Crown in their arms, gently kissing his forehead,  
"It's alright.... You're okay now... I'm here.."  
"Wh-Why do you- *whine* care so much- *whine* about trash like *whine* M-me-?" Crown hugged them tighter as he was being cradled, nearly falling asleep.  
"You're not trash... Never have been, you can be annoying at times, but we still love you... Okay? You matter so dearly to everyone here..." Mylo once again started to plaster the top of Crown's head with small pecks, holding his best friend close.  
"Th-Thank you- *whine* so much... Mylo…" He had stopped crying and in fact started to drift off to sleep, his wings relaxing and his body going limp as his tics slow down and eventually stop, Mylo wipes his tears away and cradles him closer.  
"Anything for a friend..." And with one final kiss of the forehead, they both fell asleep.

The end. :)


End file.
